


Dear Vegans

by NervousOtaku



Category: Original Work
Genre: Rants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21731350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NervousOtaku/pseuds/NervousOtaku
Summary: A piece written after being harassed by a vegan while buying my groceries
Kudos: 12





	Dear Vegans

Dear vegans,

Let me start off by saying that your diet is your choice. If I am to feed you, I shall take that into consideration. If you are vegan and I am making your meal, I will do my damnedest to ensure that no animal or animal byproducts get into your food. We may end up eating salad and lentil soup since I'm not that good a cook to begin with, or I may just bust out the fruit bowl while I make plain herb bread, but I will not feed you meat, dairy, eggs, any of that stuff.

Following that, if I am a guest of yours, I will not request non-vegan foods of you. I will eat what you put before me with minimal complaint. I say minimal complaint because I do have allergies, and I am a little picky about certain fruits and veggies. For example, I can't eat too much spicy food that is derived from peppers. It makes me sick. And I dislike the texture of tomatoes and mushrooms. Kumquats and ground-cherries are just nasty in my opinion. But, all that aside, if I am being hosted by a vegan, I will eat vegan food. I've had vegan meals before. They're pretty damn good, if a different flavor and texture profile.

However.

Do not tell me it is unnatural for me to eat meat, or animal byproducts. Look at how many carnivores nature has. Look at how many omnivores. They all consume meat and animal byproducts. Why shouldn't I? And before anyone tries to reference that whole thing about humans having herbivore teeth, not carnivore, we have very different structures from other critters. Just look at our messed-up spines and pelvises. Humans are technically animals, but we're a very weird animal. And we do, actually, have sharp teeth. Just because they don't look like a lion or a crocodile doesn't mean they aren't. Plus, we don't use our teeth to hunt. Not any more, anyway. Why do they need to be sharp?

So.

I respect you, your dietary choices, and your reasons.

Kindly do the same for me.

Sincerely,  
Let me eat my food in fucking peace good fucking grief


End file.
